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Take her there, drink wine straight from the barrel, and tell her whatever you’ve been meaning to tell her. If she doesn’t get it after that? She is probably from the future and is more machine than woman by now, and if you try to have a wine affair with someone else, she will simply remove her skin and open up her torso to reveal a microprocessor so advanced that your brain will melt in beautiful incomprehension.
— Matthew Latkiewicz - Stained Teeth: A Column About Wine.